Let's start with using an example, so we have something solid to refer to. Have you ever heard of this exercise?
Name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It only takes a minute!
What is your immediate reaction to this? Do you feel like trying it out, or does it feel like a nuisance and you're starting to think of reasons why you don't want to do it? Either way, your feelings are perfectly valid!
What is the actual purpose of this exercise? In theory, it's meant to help you ground yourself by realising the power of the here and now. It is a form of quick meditation, which uses your senses in order to help you feel present. This in turn is meant to help stop a cycle of anxious thoughts and enhance your awareness of yourself and your surroundings. It could work instantly, or if you find that you like it, you can repeat it over time, which can increase your present awareness and mindfulness levels.
So why are we then doing this analysis instead of just doing the exercise? Because when 99% of articles will advise that this is "The 1 minute exercise that will change your life" or "The best way to start your day! Do this before getting up in the morning", the message you might get is that there really are generic exercises out there that are a one fit for all. Moreover, they are presented as so quick and simple, that if they don't actually work for you or you don't even feel like doing them, you might feel like there's something you're doing wrong, instead of the exercise simply not being a good fit for you!
Therefore I wanted to create a space where we can give some thought to how you can make these wellbeing exercises work for you, or even bypass them altogether, without any feelings of inadequacy or guilt!
1. The right mood (and placebo effect)
If you feel that the exercise is something you want to do and it could be useful, it probably will be, especially as exercises like the one above have a rather solid psychological foundation anyway. If you feel like you will be wasting your time, the psychological benefits of the exercise might already be reduced, so it could be best to skip it. If you are ambivalent, read on for potential ways of making the best out of wellbeing exercises!
2. High standards
One thing that most people fail to tell you, is that these exercises are not always easy or possible for everyone. When someone presents a physical exercise, I've sometimes seen ways to modify it for people that might be having mobility issues, which is amazing. Oftentimes, however, we tend to assume that a mental health exercise, even if it contains a lot of physical components like the one above, is possible for everyone.
Nevertheless, this is not always the case, which can bring along feelings of invisibility and inadequacy in individuals. For instance, what if you haven't got your sense of smell and taste? This exercise might then make you feel very frustrated. Some versions of this exercise also advise sitting up and putting your feet on the floor, for better grounding. But what if you don't want to or can't do that?
There are two keys to this: Validation, and modification. First of all, validate your feelings. Your feelings and reaction to the exercise matter, and you are not being too fussy or difficult. After acknowledging and accepting your feelings, you can modify the exercise to fit your own abilities and preferences. Instead of smelling or tasting, you can maybe look for things that are your favourite colour and count them. Replace visual images with sounds, and please, sit however you want to! The exercise will not lose any of its potency and you will probably gain a lot more from it when you make it your own.
3. Perfectionism vs procrastination
You might feel like you have to do the exercise "properly", which means following all the instructions to the letter, and feel like you need to dedicate a significant amount of time to this. This might lead to you postponing the exercise, as you feel like you don't have the space or capacity to do it "properly" right now.
The key to this is that you don't have to do it properly. For instance, you can just name one thing you can see and see how this feels. Think about it this way: If it's not too much hassle for you to try it out, you can do it, as you don't have anything to lose. You don't have to report to anyone about whether it's a good exercise or not, and it doesn't reflect on you whether it worked well or not.
On the other hand, if you find that you are always putting it off, it might not be something that you actually want to do, and it could feel liberating to let it go. After all, there is an abundance of such exercises and you can always try one when you next feel that it might help you (also see point 5 below).
4. Inertia disturbance
Nobody likes to be interrupted from what they are doing. Even if this is going around in circles and ruminating, it can feel safe, because it is familiar. Acknowledge that to yourself and don't push yourself to do something else. If you would like to try this or another exercise which would disturb your current flow, you can tell yourself that you will go back to what you were doing once this is over, if it still feels like something you'd like to do. But perhaps stopping for a second and recalibrating might also be useful, as you might be able to see the situation in a different light!
5. Choices, choices ...
As mentioned before, there is an abundance of wellbeing and mental health exercises out there. How does this make you feel? Hopeful, as you can find a few that work and make you feel better, or overwhelmed? Again, these responses are both valid. If you do feel overwhelmed, perhaps try and understand what it is that makes you feel like that. Is it perhaps fear of missing out on other such exercises?
Give yourself permission to only try the exercises you feel like doing at the moment, rather than feel like you have to move on to "better" or "more advanced" exercises. Also keep in mind that certain algorithms might push other similar exercises to you. Again, this can be both helpful, and overwhelming, depending on the way it's done, the timing, your mood, and many more factors.
You don't owe to anyone to try and "complete" all these tasks. As the main goal is to improve your mental health, do try and keep your mental health in mind. If you find that after doing one or two wellbeing exercises your mental health improves, but after scrolling through a long list, things don't quite feel right, please take that into account.
6. Authority issues
Perhaps when you are not feeling very well and someone suggests a wellbeing exercise to you, your inner reaction is something like this: "I am not in the mood to be told what to do. This feels like homework and I despise it!" Once more, validate yourself, as this response can be perfectly reasonable!
If your reaction is similar to the one above, I would probably advise to look at the source of the recommendation of the exercise, and why they might have sent it over. Is it just an algorithm or a google search? In that case, you have to be the judge of whether it will be useful for you or not. If it is a human, was it an acquaintance that suggested something generic, and is this what potentially angered you? Or perhaps someone close to you that you feel didn't understand you very well? Or was it someone that knows you quite well and suggested this as a more targeted intervention?
The common factor here is to find out what works well for you, and in the case that someone else recommended an exercise to you, it is your choice whether you want to share with them what might work better for you, or what you liked/didn't like about the particular suggestion. You are not obligated to do anything, and it's always a good idea to consider how something makes you feel!
So, what is the verdict?
You have a choice! You can start, complete, modify, or ignore well-being exercises, depending on your current mood, general views on life, or the source of the recommendation! The main goal is the improvement of your mental health, and only you can know what is the best route towards it.